My dear brilliant beautiful friend Leah…
And here is another event that Leah put together. I was lucky enough to be there that mystical night and hear this love story being told.
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I love when my Titanic of a story has hit its iceburg. And it has. Here, in my darling frozen shoulder, in the meridian of grief, the story has lived and I have carried it. Nursed it, so tenderly. Now I am laying on the table in the hands of a gifted healer who is very kindly breaking up the scar tissue for me and I am weeping. The fiddler fiddles and I am me in the story, and I am each of my darling children, and I am the man who hurt us so badly, so long ago. I am the iceburg, I am the ocean. I am the solumn ones in lifeboats, watching the big ship sink. For the past twenty years, I would flee from the scene of something like this. I would run, clutching my metaphorical shoulder, calling for new scenery, new actors, new storylines. But there is nowhere to go, and anyway I am not going. This time, I am staying with it, and seeing this story out. I am going to do what poets do and feel the shit out of it, and write it down. This is paydirt, my dear ones, in my eternal excavation for what is buried. I will take little polaroids as the metaphysical surgeon removes tiny cans of baby peas from my soft shoulders. I will marvel at them later; how beautiful they are, how oddly cool their absence feels. And I am going to grocery shop, and go blithely to work every day, and have glorious dinners with my friends, watch television documentaries of the fallen sons of fallen dictators. I am going to listen to my parents reading horrible newspaper articles to each other, of shootings and abductions and violent ends. I am going to be gobsmacked by certain sunsets. I am going to look around me and smile.
Sometimes I get the idea that I have to figure it all out: what food to eat/not eat, what products to use/not use, what daily practices to do to connect with the beauty that is everywhere. And figuring it all out can feel very complicated and overwhelming. But then I remember that I can just listen to what my body wants, or see what resonates or just feels right. And, to start with, my body doesn’t particularly want all this figuring because, of course, figuring is stressful. It’s a little bit like spending all my time asking questions instead of listening to answers. Right now, here is what seems right to me: 1. Lots of good, clean water. I fill 3-gallon jugs with reverse osmosis water at the healthy food store and from that fill my insulated water bottle which I keep near me at all times. I also keep a 3-gallon jug in the back of the car so I can always fill up. I may need to come up with a solution for keeping this jug cool in summertime since it gets really hot in Richmond. I’d love some ideas. 2. Eating lots of colors. I keep ingredients at home to do this, but I also go to the organic salad bar at Whole Foods several times a week and fill a container with things like spinach, celery, beets, edemame, zucchini, quinoa, grapefruit, blackberries, kiwi, pineapple, chick peas, etc. This way I know I’ve covered my bases nutritionally and will have the energy I need to prepare healthy food at home. I like to keep organic spinach in this house to have for easy salads with pears and avocados with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I also like to have kale and apples around to make smoothies in the blender with a little bit of water. And then, there’s juicing. I can get in a nice cycle where I’m making juice every morning and it feels AMAZING. I use organic produce here especially, since the juice is going right to the bloodstream. Usually I juice carrots, apples, celery, ginger, and a lemon. 3. Eating organic whenever possible. Every year, the Environmental Working Group comes out with the Clean Fifteen and the Dirty Dozen, a list of the fifteen cleanest and twelve most pesticide-laden fruits or vegetables. So, since apples, celery and spinach are high on the Dirty Dozen list, I go organic for those. Onions, pineapples and avocados are generally cleaner so I can go conventional when buying those. 4. Eating less gluten. I lost 20 pounds without trying when I gave up gluten last spring. Maybe because I didn’t have the gluten causing a stress/allergic reaction in my body. Maybe because I wasn’t eating bread and everything that comes on bread. And maybe because I was eating more fruits and vegetables instead. Or maybe all of these. At this point I am occasionally eating some bread but gluten free whenever possible. There are two products that for me make being gluten free possible: Udo’s Gluten Free Bread and Ancient Harvest Quinoa Pasta. Also, Bob’s Red Mill has some nice gluten free options. 5. Eating less dairy. I’m still drinking coffee in the morning and for that I use half and half. Also, I eat a bowl of Stoneyfield Farm yogurt most days because it’s delicious and it feels right. But otherwise I don’t routinely add dairy to things. 6. Eating less nightshades. Potatoes, tomatoes, peppers and eggplants are nightshades which produce a toxin in their skin to ward off insects. This toxin can affect some people adversely and I seem to be one of them. 7. Having something fermented on a regular basis. Usually this is Kombucha. 8. Eating more plant-based nutrients than animal-based nutrients. 9. Using products that have as few toxins as possible. Here’s what I use: Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap for shower and hand soap. Moroccanoil Hair Treatment. Aubrey Sea Buckhorn Nourishing Skin Lotion. Weleda Sage Deodorant. Griffin Remedy Daily Shampoo with Sea Buckhorn and Orange. Weleda Toothpaste. Trader Joe’s Cedarwood & Sage Multi-purpose Cleaner. I keep it simple. And all this is not to say that a diner breakfast of waffles, bacon and eggs is out of the question. Because there is delight there, too. I just do things to keep that kind of fun in balance. xoxo Lisa Image of Seattle market by rayb777 on Flickr.
When science bears witness to love. When Russell Brand narrates our enlightenment. When meditating alone brings us closer to everyone. That’s what now is. Breathing in and out. So what I am saying to you is breathe in air. Let that be one of the things you do, and build cities around it, countries. Breathe in Boise, Idaho, the church in London, the flowers from your father’s birthday, your daughter’s first laugh. Breathe in a tree somewhere, birds, a circle of rabbits moving through the yard. Then breathe out. Add your own air to the world.
Start anywhere. Maybe you have been lying there, watching movies, unable to move? Do whatever you can talk yourself into doing. Breathe in and out. Become aware of your breathing as you breathe. Become aware. You may feel sad because you have started to believe you have lost your way, that you’ve lost your tribe. You haven’t. You are already home, asleep in your bed. Now wake. And as you wake, as you move about your land, peer into things. Slow into the moment at hand. Notice how beautiful things get. Geese fly overhead, coming back. Dogs bark. The table where you read these words gets more honey-colored. I am stacking up little words on the page for you. Black on white. Would purple help? Would paint? Meanwhile music is playing. Paint is painting. The words are only here to lead you out into the music, the beauty, the fields. Or to the place they lead you.
I love MountainRoseHerbs.com for essential oils of all varieties, along with their teas and tinctures. To me, everything this company does feels worshipful.
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